"I choose...to live by choice, not by chance. To make changes, not excuses. To be motivated, not manipulated. To be useful, not used. To excel, not compete. I choose self-esteem, not self-pity. I choose to listen to my inner voice. Not the random opinion of others."
I have a confession to make ~ part of me wants to walk away from my computer and forget about writing today's message. I feel vulnerable and uncomfortable sharing so much of my personal journey. But little growth occurs when we stay huddled in our comfort zones. My prayer is that this will bless and inspire you in your journey as I press forward in my own.
I have always been a "list" girl. It's not enough for me to think about something ~ I have to write it down. This week I began to compose a list and titled it, "Who I Want To Be". It was a bit intimidating at first. What if I wrote out my ideas, only to realize they were unattainable? Would this exercise inspire or depress me? I've had my share of cowardly moments, but I knew this couldn't be one of them. So I determined to tackle this mindfully, with the goal of focusing on the "being" aspect of life, and save the "doing" for another time. In many ways, we let what we do define who we are. But really, we are so much more than a spouse, parent, sibling, friend. Those are valued roles we hold.
This exercise was meant to zero in on character traits I want to possess, regardless of what I am "doing" in my various life roles. Like I said in yesterday's message, some of the things I want to be, I already am. Other traits on my list are going to need to be bathed in much prayer and hard work to come to fruition.
I won't bore you with my whole list, but will share a few things I wrote down ~
*positive in my thoughts and words
*creative in my environment and my writing
*studious, always learning something new
*wise, discerning, frugal, money-smart
*liberated ~ free from guilt, shame, regret
*compassionate, kind, thoughtful
*organized, uncluttered, focused
*strong, active, energetic, productive
*adventurous, brave, open to new experiences
*passionate and purposeful in how I live each day...
If you know me well, you are probably shaking your head and thinking, I would not use THAT word to describe her! That's the whole point. I haven't arrived yet. But I'm not going to stay content with status quo. I need to know what my aspirations are before I can stretch myself. I have a long trek ahead of me, but at least I am at the starting gate.
How about you? What would your list look like? Did I mention anything in mine that struck a chord and got you thinking? I hope so. Tomorrow I will share my next step ~ thinking about the things that delight me. I can't wait. Who doesn't like to dwell on the delightful?!
"My business is not to remake myself, but make the absolute best of what God made."