Just when I think I have this whole faith-walk figured out, God nudges my spirit. He gently calls my name, and tenderly shows me we've got business to address. Sweetly, He speaks words of stirring conviction. Lovingly, He unveils areas of weakness and vulnerability. Softly, He sheds light on pockets of darkness I didn't know existed or rationalized as okay. Consistently, He calls me to a higher road, teaching me a holier and healthier way to walk.
And I drink it in. The lessons, the prodding, the discipline ~ I used to dread it. I'd stand my ground, and insist I wasn't in the wrong. I'd have an excuse for everything He brought to light. I'd justify my actions, my thoughts, my attitudes. And I'd believe I was right.
Not anymore. Because honestly, I've lived through enough to see how destructive, defeating, and dishonoring it can be. I'm tired of trying to have my way, force my agenda, and present my arguments to God. I don't want to live this way. Not anymore.
That the God of the Universe who spoke everything into existence wants to come to me and show me a better way? Yes! I'll take it. Open the doors to my heart and mind, Lord. Shed light on all the dark spots. Breathe fresh air and new life into the hidden places that have been locked up tightly for so long. Open my eyes to the choices, habits, and mindsets that sabotage and hinder my growth. I want to climb higher, Lord. I want to put off the weight of old ways that have held me down and held me back.
I want more of You, Lord. I want Your ways, Your plans, Your purposes. I set before You my own in exchange for all you want to give to me.
It's freedom, Lord. This chance I have to give up my own agenda for Your greater way. It's exhilirating. Empowering. And it leaves me feeling almost giddy, so happy to be freed of all the stuff that "self" can chain me to.
I can see why He calls it the abundant life. When I let go and surrender all to Him, He pours so much more into me than I could ever think or imagine. I don't want to settle for anything less.
"Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong - then guide me on the road to eternal life."
~Psalm 139:23-24, The Message
"God can do anything, you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us."
~Ephesians 3:20, The Message
"I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)."
Copyright 2013 by Julie Cowell. All rights reserved.