How I worship reveals so much about my relationship with God and what I believe to be true. Am I just paying Him lip service as I sing lyrics of praise? Are the words truly a reflection of my heart? Am I living each day, moment by moment, engaged ~ to some degree ~ in worship? Is my daily round a to-do list or an active form of worship? How can I cling to my self-absorbed ways and personal agendas and still worship? Aren't they a contradiction?
When I pray, am I truly conscious of who I am praying to? Shouldn't that knowledge bring me to my knees? How does God feel about my casual expression of worship and prayer? Is it an affront to a holy God? Should I be satisfied with what appears at times to be too superficial? Should I think it okay to gather with hundreds in worship, and see cell phones buzzing, friends conversing, and people watching other people? Is this what worship should look like?
I want a deeper knowledge and experience! I want to know what it means to truly worship. I want to enter His courts with heartfelt devotion and praise. I want my inside to match my outside as I partake in songs of praise. I want it to sink in so deep, I lose myself ~ completely lose myself ~ and be overcome by His presence.
I want to lift up holy hands in praise and adoration, and to be mindful of Him as I use those same hands to do my tasks. I want hands that reach out, hands full of His grace and His love, that don't hold back, afraid to give too much. No, I want hands wide open, hands that say, take all of me Lord, all that I have. It's yours, I'm yours. Worshipful hands.
I want a prayer life that never hits the pause button. Prayer life that stretches way beyond me and my own little wish list. Prayer life that fights for the lives of others. I want a prayer life that blows my own agenda away. A prayer life that is consumed with Him and His will. A connection with God so intimate that my desires fall off the radar.
Lord, I bow to You, amazed I can come into Your presence. Tomorrow may look different than this moment. I may find myself once again consumed with self and the distractions of this world. But I pray not! I want You, more of You, deeper knowledge of You, a closer walk with You. One day, I'll find myself kneeling before You, bowed down in Your glory. And for eternity, I'll be worshipping You. I want it to be a natural response, one I've lived while on this earth.
The truth is, how I live my life, day by day, moment by moment, reveals the degree to which I worship my God. May I not be found lacking.
Copyright 2014 by Julie Cowell.